"You're not supposed to be back yet!"

At this very moment, over 60,000 people are gathering in the Swamp for Gator Growl. Many of them spent the day in Gainesville, going to the Homecoming parade, taking a welcome break from class in the midst of midterms, and now they're in the Swamp getting pepped up for homecoming. I only went to two Gator Growls, my first year and my last year. I worked 4 of the 5 homecoming parades, but attended all of them. And for 5 straight years I was at the BCM's Later Growl until well past midnight. I've volunteered, advertised, even gotten into fights with my best friend because I drove back from South Carolina in one night to not miss homecoming. I've seen all but one homecoming game in the 5 seasons I saw at UF.

I love Homecoming, because that's exactly what it is... a time when people can go home. UF was another home for me and it's wonderful to think that there's a specific time where it welcomes me back. Even though I'm not there now, I look forward to the day that I am.

Homecoming parade 2009

Me and Carolina at Gator Growl 2009

"Please tell me that you're alright, Yeah everything is alright..."

It's 1:53 in the morning. I'm wasting time online (facebook, Google Reader, etc.) and that's when it hits me that I'm crying? Don't know why... school's good, things are good, Gators are winning. I mean, I'm still job hunting, but that's never made me cry. But I'm crying. And that's not a normal reaction to wasting time online, so I get kind of nervous, because I'm crying.

What do I do? I email Mark Walters. I haven't talked to him in maybe 2 or 3 years and I email him at 1:53 in the morning because for a while I could talk to him about anything even if I didn't know what it was and he would listen and be encouraging and we would just have amazing conversations for hours. I miss that.

I've gone too long without an amazing conversation with a good friend... any really good friend.

Summer in the Sunshine State!

Wow, time flies when you're having fun (cheesy, but so true)! Here's what's up...

1. Paris, Je T'aime!

The summer seminar to Paris was out of this world! I never felt a strong desire to visit the City of Lights, I guess I always assumed that I would eventually get there and kind of took it for granted. But Paris charmed me in the way that it does all hopeless romantics. We stayed in the Latin Quarter somewhere between Notre Dame and the Pantheon and it was just magical! Sixteen museums, ICOM, Versailles, etc. in just 9 days! Not to mention sightseeing on our own time! Anna, Erin, Julie and I hit the Louvre (with the group), Sacre Coeur in Monmartre, the Arc de Triomphe on the Champs Élysées, and the Eiffel Tower in one day (you really can do Paris in a day)! The whole trip was exhausting with each day beginning at 7AM and not ending until midnight... but definitely worth the experience! I can't wait to go back!

(Erin, Amy and I after our whirlwind tour of the Louvre; the whole group; Me in the Hall of Mirrors at Versailles)

2. Summer in Orlando

I've been living with Kristina and Shannon, which was a challenge at first but has worked out better than I initially thought (She is my sister after all). Interning with the Orlando Science Center has been so rewarding. I know more than ever that this is what I want to do with the rest of my life! And I've road-tripped more than ever... visiting everywhere from Miami to Jacksonville on the weekends to see everyone!

(Perrino and I dressed as Chik-Fil-A cows; at Star Wars weekend with Kristina; visiting Sarah in Miami)

3. The Wizarding World of Harry Potter!

Okay, I know that it is crazy to try and go to Harry Potter World the summer that it opens... but Sweeney and I have always accepted that we're crazy (and we're not entirely sure when we'll be back in Florida after this simmer is over)! In a word... it was AWESOME!!! The lines weren't as horrifying as we assumed they would be, and we just had a great time! I felt like a 7 year old going to a magical place that I had read about, only now it had actually come to life! The ride inside the castle was probably one of the best rides I've ever experienced, and Sweeney got me on my first roller coaster!!! Amazing day!

(me trying Butterbeer; Sweeney and I outside Hogwarts; and with the conductor of the Hogwarts Express)

4. My Best Friend's Wedding!

This was probably the event I was looking forward to the most this summer. I went up to see Justin the Wednesday before (and nearly died on the drive home), and it was so wonderful to just talk with him and spend time with him after nearly 8 months in different parts of the country. On Saturday, he looked so happy, happier than I've ever seen him and I couldn't help but smile at that. Someone asked me if it was weird to see Justin married. It was (I would be lying if I said I didn't have the "Boy Meets World" Cory-Shawn-wedding-fight going through my head the whole day)... I still remember when it was me and Justin and Dan in a dorm room talking about our weddings. I miss those times. Wednesday night Justin and I were having a wooden spoon sword fight and then I watched him get married 3 days later. Sitting back and watching him go from my partner-in-crime/wonder twin/other half of a dynamic duo to someone's husband was the strangest part...

(Vows; First dance; Dan, Justin, and I - 4 years past Murphree)

Other summer Highlights...

(Intern Jen delivering snacks; Shannon and I taking a break from moving out; Carolina, Sweeney, Sarah and I heading to Howl at the Moon for my birthday; Lee, Agnes, Kaden and I playing Wii Just Dance at the Lopez Family Reunion)

A year ago...

-I was at RA training, desperately trying to get my bulletin boards put together before LeighAnne, Kevin, Caitlin, Mike and I took Alex out for his 21st. I didn't think I would miss it, but it's hitting me hard that this is the first time in 4 years that I'm not making doortags, or planning welcome events, or getting to know other RAs over a game of mafia. I think being an RA shaped me more than anything I did in college and I miss it dearly. It truly was the best job I've ever had...

-I didn't know that I was going to grad school. Let alone where or to study what.

-I hadn't met RJ and goodness knows what kind of year it would have been if that didn't happen.

I wasn't ready for life to change. So much has changed in a year and I'm still not ready for things to change. I wonder if I'll ever feel differently...

And just because I'm currently watching Return of the Jedi, I give you Henry IV holding a lightsaber :)

Lessons I've learned in NJ...

1. Public transportation only goes so far...

I was told to not bring my car up here for various reasons (the most humorous of which was Carolina and Michael telling me that I would die if I tried to drive up here). But I'm more handicapped without a car here than I was in Gainesville (partially because I don't have a Justin or Dan to drive me around). The buses here are sketchy, more so than back home, and the train is really only convenient if I need to get to NYC (granted, from there I can pretty much take a train to anywhere). Walking has been sufficient thus far...I'm so close to campus and work, but I definitely need my car up here. That being said, who wants to ride 17 hours from FL to NJ with me sometime this summer?

2. Snow days...Awesome (as long as you're dressed appropriately)!

Snow is beautiful! I love how bright and clean everything looks when it is blanketed with snow! I've made a snowman and been sledding, which are super fun (I'm saving the snowball fight for next winter), and I even shoveled the driveway with my roommates. But I've discovered that there's a reason winter clothes exist. And while I can layer 12 tshirts and every sweatshirt I own on top of me, it won't really compare to designated winter clothes :)

3. I'll always miss home...

I want NJ to work, and slowly it's getting there. I've made a few friends, and I like my classes. Adventuring in NYC is great, and once I'm more confident in my ability to navigate the subway system, I'll be there so much more. I know that I wouldn't be here if this wasn't what I wanted, but I cannot wait to be back in FL. My world was so perfect there, and while little by little my friends are leaving to have their own post-UF adventures, I'm still gonna countdown to the day I can go and visit the few friends who are still there. I know things won't ever be the same. I know that when I go back, there will be certain people who I can catch up with like no time passed at all, and there will be others who I probably won't be in contact with (no matter how hard I tried to stay in touch), but just being able to say that I'm home will the best feeling. So right now, I'm "okay", working towards "good" and eventually "great", but I still miss you FL...

And finally, for your amusement...

http://www.sporcle.com/games/GeoGod/allharrypotter

Enjoy!

Robert Frost got it... I'm getting there

Four months since my last post. Get ready, you're in for an almost full account of my life as of late...

SUMMER 2009

The rest of the summer was mediocre. I finished my classes without any difficulties. Moved out of Murph M and back to Jax with the hopes of a job and the anticipation of one final semester off in the distance. Unfortunately no job presented itself so I spent the summer studying for and taking the GRE. In doing so, my vocabulary improved by approximately 236 words and I now make it a goal to work "loquacious" into everyday conversation as many times as I possibly can. I also made the decision to apply to grad school a full semester earlier than initially planned. Don't ask me why I did this as I still am at a loss for an explanation, but that was it. The rest of the summer consisted of playdates with Rohan and Kaden (i.e. me trying to help Aunt Katie out), writing a personal statement (versions 1, 2, and 3), and a birthday spent with my guys... It wasn't spectacular, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

FALL (Highlights with explanations)

1. RA-ing

Murphree North consisted of 5 returners. Those 5 returners embraced the "new kid" and welcomed him with a 21st birthday celebration that was nothing short of legendary. I think this staff was closer than any other staff I had been on (even more so than the Murph North staff that 5 of us were on last year). This probably resulted from our losing Sarah. We had all meshed well and come into our own element under Sarah. Adjusting to a new GHD was inevitably going to have hiccups. But as a staff we bonded over post meeting rituals, going out, and...

(Murph North at training, after Haunted Thomas, Kevin, LeighAnne and I at the Holiday party)

2. The Bucket List.

My bucket list to be exact. With the help of Caitlin Wilcox, Kevin Tierney, and LeighAnne Johnson, I created a list of 20ish things that I had to accomplish prior to leaving Gainesville. Things ranging from post-it noting the Potato, to the Undie Run, to going to a Ladies' night, to a crazy spur-of-the-moment roadtrip (complete with 5am car accident). Needless to say, I didn't complete everything but I made some great memories trying... all in all, the list served it's purpose.

(19 6/8. LeighAnne and I after DayGlo, completed list, 8. Road trip)

3. Classes

For the first time in a long time, I was back in the theater department. I had no physics/astronomy classes! I was special effects for the musical for my senior project (grrr fog machines), I wrote a one-act play, and I took improv (a story in itself). I finished the semester with no exams, and a 4.0 gpa... I haven't done this since before I declared astronomy!

(Crew love!)

4. Extra-curriculars

I didn't go to BCM so much. Most of my really great friends through BCM had either graduated or stopped going, so I traded BCM for a bible study at Grace. I loved it! Eventually it led to me getting more involved in the Grace college ministry. It amazes me how much God can do in such a short time span. I only had one semester with Grace and I feel like I was still able to build such a strong bond with some incredible people...

(Me, as Waldo at the Halloween party and then the crew looking at Christmas lights)

5. Friends...

Friends were an interesting notion this semester. Saying goodbye to such wonderful people as Justin, Sweeney, and Lauren, and trying to see myself at UF without them, even with the knowledge that I had Dan, Jonathan , Katie and others, made the beginning of fall somewhat difficult. That being said, I began the fall with the mindset that I was leaving, and much like my mindset at the beginning of Spring 2009, I wasn't going to go out of my way to pursue new relationships (tangent: A friendship is a relationship. Relationship is a term that encompasses any interaction you have with anyone. Just had to make this clear.) I would make the most of my time with those closest in my life (Dan, Jon, Carolina), I would strengthen my relationships with acquaintances (Caitlin, Beth, Nerissa), and get ready to say goodbye. Then a curveball by the name of RJ Mills got thrown into my life. I went back to UF dreading the semester. I felt left behind at the end of the spring and for the first time ever, I didn't want to return to Gainesville. Then I met this freshman in my improv class and more so than anyone he reminded me why I loved UF. I think I spent more time this semester watching clouds on the North Lawn with RJ than with anyone else. RJ reminded me of my own freshman year... Star Wars marathon the night before my first final, falling asleep with 12 other people in the batcave at Matt and Mike's, Tuesday movie nights in Trusler with the Matts, the Katies and Michelle... He reminded me of all the fun and excitement that inevitably came with college and I'll never be able to thank him enough for that. So my initial mindset was thrown out...

(RJ and I painting Norman tunnel and at the Butterfly Rainforest)

And then I graduated. On a freezing December morning....

I spent the day with family and friends...

And then I ended college as only I could...

(Mattress Surfing!!!)

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: IT GOES ON." - Robert Frost

It's been a nertz kind of day...

A few things...

I'm moving up my grad school applications. I'm not waiting 8 months, I want to go in January. This is quite a decision seeing as I've had myself convinced that I was waiting. Now I have to hit the ground running to get applications in on time. I'm terrified.

Today was my birthday. It was simple, I spent it with two of my best friends, and it was wonderful. My family went to watch the sunrise on the beach. It will always amaze me how watching the sunrise will never get old. It's the best thing worth waking up at 5:30am. Then Justin and Dan got here and we spent the day doing nothing in particular. There was a day long game of nertz (in which they both stomped me), and some random movie watching (part of "Shanghai Knights," "Batman Begins" and then "She's the Man"), and cake, and just spending the last of our little time left. I wouldn't want to turn 22 any other way.

My best friend moves to Tallahassee tomorrow morning. I don't know when I'll see or talk to him again. When I look back over this blog I notice that I haven't posted much on the last few months I've had with him. I think it's interesting that I haven't adequately documented the last bit of a time I so desperately want to remember. And then I smile at the idea that I'm focusing so much on writing it down, as if not writing it down means it didn't happen, that I might forget to just enjoy it while it passes. I will never be able to accurately describe what the last 3 years with Justin and Dan in my life have meant to me. So much of it goes without saying - inside jokes, secret confessions, or even silent understandings. I love them both so much...

(The 3 of us at the BCM banquet sophomore year)

Rain, Rain, go away...

The end of the semester wrapped up nicely even if it went by too fast. The BCM banquet was lovely, as always...

(BCM girls and guys)

I was voted "Most Likely to be in College for 10 Years" and then was recognized as a senior not 5 minutes later. It was a bittersweet banquet, running around signing senoir books and taking pictures...I would've given anything for it to have gone on for hours, but all good things come to an end and so did this.

Exams went smoothly, University Scholars paper was turned in, check outs galore. And then cam the fake graduation photos. Dan and I borrowed some caps and gowns so we could go around and take fake pictures with Justin...

(jumping outside Murphree and with the gator by the stadium)

In 10 years it won't matter that we didn't graduate together, and even if it does it makes for a funny story. (Apparently there is also a plan for Justin to come back in December for fake photo shoot #2...) Afterward was one last lunch together...and that was it, the next time I saw Justin (almost two weeks later) he had graduated.

Sweeney and I finished up her undergraduate experience doing something we always hoped we would take part in...

(yeah...that's a sud filled fountain!)

Don't know who put the soap in the fountain...don't care. It was awesome!

I watched the graduations on the TV in my kitchen. You should've seen me jumping and screaming in my lounge when they called Justin, Leah and Sweeney's names. And then that was that. They all graduated. I moved out of a room and then into a room and while everyone in my grade (my age, my grade...those who graduated) celebrated and close this chapter, I tried to get myself pumped for summer and then one more semester. I didn't think I would feel left out...I was wrong.

It's monsoon-ing in Gainesville. And while I love gloomy days, they aren't anywhere near as much fun without fireplaces, or tea, or time to read good books, or scrabble, or crazy friends who are likely to run around outside with you. So I've spent my three glorious days without theater classes desparately trying to find something productive to do.

I really shouldn't complain as I have yet to be productive this entire summer. I'm taking two classes and I'm RA-ing for summer A. Also mixed into that are my plans to...
1. Study for and take the GRE.
2. Find a job for summer B in Jacksonville.
3. Read all the books on my list for children's lit in the fall.
4. Do typical summer things with people who are leaving in the fall.
So far, not so good.

I'm terribly unmotivated. Summer A is intense and most of my friends have graduated. so between not getting much of a break, and feeling left behind, I don't have a lot of motivation to keep me going.

Justin and I went to lunch today. Kristina's coming to visit tomorrow. We're going to Devil's Millhopper. And summer keeps passing by...